Being a Godly Spouse
Since getting engaged almost a year ago, and being married for the last 4 months, I have learned some things about advice.
First, advice is often given when you aren’t asking for it. I have been given advice about everything (and I mean e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.) about how my wedding dress should look, where the venue should be, the best honeymoon locations, what I should cook my now-husband for dinner… the list goes on and on. Initially, I was annoyed, to be honest, but I began to realize that what everyone was trying to do was help me. Show me how to do things better than they had or what they’d done that had gone well. So, even though I hadn’t asked, I started listening.
Second, I learned that advice does NOT have to be taken. For instance “You HAVE to have cake at your wedding!” - or so I was told many times. Guess who didn’t have cake at their wedding? That’s right. I had donuts. Although it’s important to remember that your opinion matters too, I also discovered that my instinct shouldn’t be to simply go against the advice just because it was advice. There were definitely some pieces of advice that have been very valuable. I was told “Let your fiancé help plan the wedding” - I did, and it was great wisdom!
The final thing I’ve learned about advice is that it’s rare to come across advice that is truly lasting and helpful. Yes, it was good to know that I should keep my husband well fed. Yes, it is valuable advice to bend your knees when saying your vows (so you don’t faint). But what about when my brand new husband and I have our first argument? What do I do when my husband and I both have crappy days and no one wants to make dinner? Why didn’t anyone prepare me for that? Well, I decided to go find the advice I wanted so desperately to hear.
For those who don’t know, I’m in charge of the social media posts for the church. I realized that there are probably many young couples (married or not) that would also benefit from some sage wisdom. Being in charge of the social media pages gave me a great resource to spread that sort of encouragement. My mission began. Instead of hyping up Valentine’s day and buying your spouse flowers and chocolates, I decided to use the month of February to give advice on marriage from the amazing married couples who attend our church. I asked tons of married couples one, simple question, “What do you do to be a better, more godly spouse?”
WOW. The responses I received were amazing! Couples who have been married for 4 months or 60 years all had unique ways that they love their spouse. I found so much encouragement from these responses and couldn’t wait to share them with everyone. Since posting them, I have heard from several people that they too have been encouraged from the advice (even if it was unsolicited).
So, just in case you missed it, I want to share their advice again. I pray that you are encouraged, motivated, and excited to constantly become a better, more godly spouse.
Well now that we’re married, I guess it’s our turn to start passing on the advice, so here goes…
Ashley is an intern at CCC and runs the church’s social media presence. She also volunteers in various church ministries. Ashley works as an ESL teacher and tutor and loves being a housewife as well. She and Jonathan were married in October of 2018 and have a cat named Reese (who is more like a dog - which Ashley greatly appreciates).